Tips on Romance Restraint:
Building the Sexy Stuff of Romance Novels Require Patience
There’s nothing better than a satisfying kiss between two potential lovers that spend half the book torturing each other with incredible sexual struggle. That first moment of hungry affection makes us drool (inside, of course). It gets steamy finally, forcing us to pull the book a little closer to our hearts as we protect fragile eyes who might peer over our shoulder at any moment.
We all know how annoying romance novels can be as the push and pull between characters are nearly unbearable. You hold back thumbing through the next fifty pages or so to affirm if they finally succumb to their intense attraction with one another. The books where we can’t read fast enough to get to the end realizing they do have the hots for each other, but never kiss (or only kiss), leaving us panting for more. Is there a second book? When do they get down with it? We need that release already!
But… we also need that tension.
Without that glorious tension between our two potential lovers, you’re missing the full effect of a great sexual tension build. There’s nothing better than becoming engrossed in endless potential moments of release. Will it be after or before she gets captured? Does she make the first move and surprise us all? Is he too prude to get dirty with it? Aghhh! I can’t put this book down!
Being on the writers’ side, we are hyper-aware of what we want to happen with our lovers (or not) in the end. It’s the process of reaching the final destination that has us on our tippy toes of our lovers’ queries. As we prod along in the storyline, we must strain every interaction between the love interests in order to create that lusty, wet build. If you’re holding back, hold back a bit more until it’s beyond insatiable, then dive into it.
Here are some of the tips when it comes to building sexual tension in your romance novel:
- All I want is to write the ideal love story, but nobody wants perfect. SO TRUE. Would you stay interested if your main character had everything perfect? The looks, the jobs, the man. The muscles.. Oh GAWSH the muscles. Sorry, getting side-tracked. We need flaws, flaws, flaws! We need flaws or we aren’t going to feel for the characters. We aren’t going to stay invested in the story or remain interested.
- When you’re about to give the reader some relief with touch, don’t go any further. Oh yes, this is hard. You want your leading lady to suddenly fall into your leading man’s rock hard…something (get your mind out of the gutter!). Let someone get upset about it, let your main character fight the urges, let there be something in the way of the two of them being allowed to move beyond the rock hard….abs.
- Create tiny moments of sexual frustration. I love when my character is silently turned on by the other. Let it mount until… (so many ways add ‘sex’ to a page) you’ve rounded that corner.
- Keep it realistic. Your lovely characters need time to simmer. In real life, you must be patient with your crush. People don’t read minds. We don’t know what the other character is thinking with a look or a raised eyebrow. Timelines need to match and therefore we need to take care to show bits and pieces of intimacy rather than bursting at the seams. It makes the reader keep reading to see if they get together, which is a great thing.
- Sexual tension is about what is NOT happening. I have read this before on other writers’ blog posts as well and it makes sense. What is not happening? Sex. What is also not happening? Touch. Give the characters vulnerable moments when you think there will be sexy stuff and don’t give the reader any satisfaction.
Look, when it boils down to it, practice makes you better. Write steamy love scenes and get good at it. Have someone read them and provide feedback. Feedback is nothing to be scared of. I can promise if you keep that restraint when writing your romance novel, you’re going to create the longing of a delicious love scene that will leave your readers, well, horny for more.
